🧲 Received: November 9th, 2018 🧲
🧲 Written: October 17th-November 26th, 2024 🧲
Alternate Title: Phix no Daibōken: Phix in the Magnetic World [ ⬤ ] Year: 2000, 2003 | Developed by: Affect
Published by: Agetec | Distributed by: Tommo
Hello, gamers and readers alike, welcome to my blog and thank you for taking the time to tune in today, I really appreciate it!
In 1990, a Japanese developer by the name of Affect was formed. Screengrabbed while watching Nenriki Gaming Channel's playthrough video on YouTube
They made their inaugural video game debut, the horizontal scrolling shoot'em up XDR: X-Dazedly-Ray, that same year on the Sega MegaDrive which was released exclusively in Japanese shores. After XDR, Affect would continue developing games for the SuperThe three Affect-developed Super Famicom titles released on the North American SNES format were Super Stadium as Nolan Ryan's Baseball, Cacoma Knight as Cacoma Knight in Bizyland, and Makeruna! Makendō as Kendo Rage
Famicom, Sega Saturn, Sony PlayStation One, and during the tail end of their career on the Nintendo DS handheld. With a handful of exceptions during the Nintendo 16-bit era, their body work was never released outside of Japan during their heyday. Affect would ultimately close their doors in 2008, where they moved on to work on web applications since.But, as fate would have it, there was one other Affect title that saw a Western localization. While Affect was still active, they worked on a game exclusively catered to the PlayStation One console by the name of Phix no Daibōken: Phix in the Magnetic World. Produced by Tsutomu Yoshikawa, directed by Tatsuro Murayama (who also contributed to the stage, animation, and character design), and programmed by Masaya Numashita and Kazuhito Takeuchi, Phix was developed in the year 2000. Affect would act as their own publisher in Japan, with their latest game making its debut that May 18th. For a time, it seemed like it would remain there, never to be localized in the West. ASCII Game Entertainment Technology
Enter Agetec, an American subsidiary company formed through ASCII Corporation in 1998 who initially was spun off as an independent corporation before becoming a standalone publisher the year following. Agetec was known for localizing Japanese video games to theNorth American continent such as acclaimed developer FromSoftware's Armored Core franchise, Echo Night and its second sequel Nebula: Echo Night (as Echo Night Beyond), Shadow Tower, the Evergrace games, and King's Field IV (as King's Field: The Ancient City), ASCII's 3D Kakutō Tsukūru (as Fighter Maker), Irem's R-Type Delta, Tose's Bass Landing, UEP Systems' Rising Zan: The Samurai Gunman, Human Entertainment's Clock Tower: Ghost Head (as Clock Tower II: The Struggle Within), and Kuusoukagaku's RPG Tsukūru 3 (as RPG Maker), et al, until Agetec closed down their doors in 2018. As far as Sony's original PlayStation went, Agetec localized games for it from Japan as late as 2003, by which point the PlayStation 2 was at the height of its run and popularity. 
Images from MobyGames* By MobyGames' estimate, anyway
2006, however, Tommo has also been operating under their subsidiary firm UFO Interactive Games, having purchased the rights to the properties bankrupt developers Humongous Entertainment, GT Interactive, and Accolade, the last of whom was known for the Bubsy franchise (for whom UFO Interactive Games published the latest non-compilation entries Black Forest Games' The Woolies Strike Back and Choice Provisions' Paws on Fire!), until the rights to GT and Accolade eventually reverted back to Atari in 2023. In the interim they Image from MobyGames
also formed a partnership with Hong Kong-based intellectual property management and investor company Billionsoft in 2017, to which Tommo licensed out its Retroism library over to them, both of the original variety and rereleases. One such example of a rerelease wasTalk about a game that deserved so much better from day one, having a rushed development and ultimately being released in an unfinished status as a result of that, Return of Double Dragon being officially rereleased for the first time in 26 years only for its reproduction cartridge to not work on Nintendo's official 16-bit hardware definitely hurts the game's already troubled legacy
Technōs Japan Corp.'s Return of Double Dragon, a 1992 Super Famicom beat'em up, which was rereleased in Japan in 2018 by Tommo and in the North American SNES format officially by Retroism just as Japan experienced it (overriding the official Tradewest SNES release Super Double Dragon) which is great... or it would be if the reproduction cartridge produced for it wasn't exclusively made for Super Famiclone systems. 😞 Real pity.Images from GameFAQs
Sooo, not exactly the most encouraging of credentials there, which is an ominous sign. Affect released their game Phix no Daibōken in May 18th of 2000, but with publisher Agetec (under their A1 Games label) and distributor Tommo onboard Phix: The Adventure, as it would be known in the West, would mark its official North American debut on July 15th of 2003.
In the sky temple of Magnetica World resides the Magnia Stone, an important object that has helped maintain stability and order throughout the land since time immemorial. Suddenly a bright flash of light has struck the sacred spot thereby causing it to roll off the pedestal and
bounce off the ground until it fell right out of the sky. "Sleeping main character at the beginning" is such an overused trope when it comes to video games, but there are examples that get away with it on account of being very good and fun titles to play (like Nintendo's Zelda no Densetsu: Kamigami no Triforce/The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and Quintet's Tenchi Sōzō/Terranigma)... Phix is not one of those games
Meanwhile down in Magnetica World below the heavens, tranquil while it lasts, slept a pink creature by the name of Phix. Unbeknownst to him while taking a powernapthe Magnia Stone is hurtling down to the planet at great speed. Eventually Phix arouses from his nap, letting out a yawn so big that he unwittingly swallowed the Magnia Stone which entered inside his mouth. Unaware that this has occurred as of yet,
Phix gets up and starts walking away from the tree he was sleeping next to and just so happens to be in the nearest vicinity of a recycling basket chockful of soda cans. Reacting He died as he lived: obliviously
magnetically to the pink creature, all these cans fly toward an unsuspecting Phix who only realizes too late before he is tackled by the barrage of recyclables.Just as he's been attacked ferociously by these cans, Phix gets contacted by a cleric who introduces himself and explains the situation to him as well as the importance the Magnia Stone holds to the very core of Magnetica World. Without it, things have turned topsy turvy. ...are we just going to ignore that a member of the clergy has just littered the premises with a deluge of empty cans in the name of freeing Phix from his prison pile and won't make a dent to clean it up? 🤨 That's not ecclesiastical at all
He beckons that Phix come to the temple so he can remove the Magnia Stone from inside him, which the pink creature complies with and instantly begins his adventure."You didn't stop to heed my advice, you pitiful piss pink pixied pillock!!"
Left: Firing red particles at a blue-colored magnet | Right: Walking around the tree with a confusingly nonsensical and highly unreliable camera
In the 3D platformer Phix: The Adventure you take control of the eponymous pink creature whom you can move around freely in all eight directions, jump in the air with the 𝖷 button with the gained altitude based on how hard you pressed the button, fire magnetic projectiles with the ⭘ button (aiming automatically toward nearby foes), with the △ or R1 shoulder button you can switch to either the N or S magnetic polarity, by holding down the ☐ button you will maintain a neutral charge as long you have something in the magnetic charge gauge (for the longer you hold it down, the more it will drain, and you cannot maintain magneticLeft: Yellow-haired wobbly armed enemy | Right: Pulled in by the N magnetic forcefield because you're currently set at the S magnetic polarity
neutrality if the gauge is empty), in most levels holding down the L1 shoulder button will revolve the camera behind Phix, you can access the present level's map by pressing the L2 shoulder button and return to the game by pressing it once more, and finally holding down the R2 shoulder button will reduce Phix's movements to a slow crawl of a walk (you will never need to resort to this as the platforms aren't that narrow in width to warrant that). Each of the five regions of Magnetica World are divided into four levels, with the fourth and final level culminating in a boss fight. In the first three levels the main objective is to reach theLeft: Jumping up to gather the green crystals | Right: Maintaining a neutral charge
goal at the end under the allotted time that you're given, but naturally they're littered with enemies and obstacles to overcome. Along the way you'll be collecting crystals (for which gaining a hundred will grant you a life where a small crystal is worth 1 and a big crystal is worth 10), a heart to replenish Phix's lost health by one (for you start a new life with three hearts, and can have a capacity of five hearts total), touching a gold coin with the face of a lucky cat will act as a checkpoint for you in the event that you lose a life, a spring-powered wind-up clock that will prolong your allotted time by thirty seconds, a magnet-shaped MLeft: Climbing up the hill | Right: Don't get too close to the bomb enemy, and especially don't get too close to its bomb blast
Power item that ensures that your magnetic gauge won't decrease when you use it for the next thirty seconds, and a nucleus-powered shield that will momentarily render Phix invulnerable to enemy attack and contact. Losing all your lives will take you to the continue screen, where you've got a choice to use up one of an unlimited amount of continues or to forfeit and go back to the title screen. Choosing not to continue after losing your last life will give you a chance to save your current progress, as outside of having beaten the game and sat through the credits by or exiting midgame there's no other opportunity to do so.Left: Simply fire a few opposing magnetic particle projectiles toward particular enemies like this frantically paced anthropomorphic food delivery dog | Right: ...and you'll free a translucent creature who's worth 10 crystals
Contributing to the design would be director Tatsuro Murayama (who would handle the character, stage, and animation design) alongside Yuki Fukushima (who handled character, animation, and publicity design), Hideo Nakajima, Yuji Sato (who both handled character and animation design), and Piroshi Shibayama (who worked on the stage and publicity design), with additional visual work provided by Daisaku Yatsuhiro. Faraday Field has got grassy texture for the ground with serene-colored blue water, Ferri Ruins features grainy sand in its opening level but features bricked-in and square-shaped floor tiles from its secondLeft: Chased by a red poultry | Right: Watch out for rolling logs on the way up
level onward, Neel Volcano is filled with molten rock surrounded by dark red lava, Techno City Lauterbur is completely steel-based with a variable sense of light and shadow, and lastly Savart Castle begins with a light rainy backdrop on top of the waters with floating lily pads segued by a dark and stormy night atop the rooftops of feudal Japan-style buildings eventually exploring and infiltrating its maze-like fortress. There's a variety of enemies to contend with in Phix who all come with distinct unprecedented designs who are either red (N) or blue (S) depending on their sense of magnetic polarity: like sentient magnets thatLeft: Grab the lucky cat coin to mark your checkpoint | Right: Preparing to encounter a blue magnet foe
attempt to dive bomb toward you, miniature walking bombs that explode upon contact or when too close, wobbly yellow-haired wobbly armed creatures, anthropomorphic food delivery dogs that move with erraticism, sentient Moai heads with legs, bespectacled T-posed children whose lower bodies operate the tanks they're riding on, tall lanky animals creatures with spiked up Mohawks, block-shaped automatons, living scarecrows, flying enemies with aLeft: Like the game's quality, you head downhill | Right: Clearing the narrow gap
propeller on their head, ninjas, and samurai who try to attack you by having their hair fly in a circular motion it returns to their head. Each boss has also got their distinct sense of design as well: the snake-haired Gorgonya's lower torso is half-mutated by the wall she emerges from with her exposed left arm being as scaly as a snake, Mr. Powder is a generic musclebound spiky haired persona whose eyes are completely red with white hair, Rollin' Rocco is a towering chrome-based hodgepodge of anime manned robot design tropes with an SD Gundam-like facial expression, and Señor Shōgun is very imposing in look and stature.Left: Be wary of bad turtle creatures | Right: Crossing through a drawbridge
Behind Phix's music was Takahiro Wakuta, a former composer for Human Entertainment with Formation Soccer: Human Cup '90, The Adventures of Gilligan's Island, Puraresu/HAL Wrestling, SD Gundam Gaiden: Lacroan Heroes, Vasteel, and Jigoku Gokuraku Maru/Kabuki Quantum Fighter, before leaving to provide music for BEC's licensed coin-op Ultraman and later transitioning over to Affect lending his music talent toCacoma Knight, Makeruna! Makendō, Mahjong Angel Kiss, Mahjong Yonshimai: Wakakusa Monogatari, Finger Flashing, Hikari no Shima: Seven Lithographs in Shining Island, Chaos Break: Episode from "Chaos Heat" (for Taito), Cardcaptor Sakura: Clow Card Magic, and Tetris with Cardcaptor Sakura: Eternal Heart. Phix would be among the last soundtracks Wakuta composed for a video game in 2000. The opening level theme of Faraday Field features a somewhat grandiose and bombastic flair as Phix officially begins his adventure, the second Faraday Field level theme sounds gentle with the pan flute and the eventual usage of horns and the delicate strumming of the guitar strings, and the third Faraday Field level theme conversely has got an otherworldly sound quality and composition Left: Calimonstro | Right: Fire enough projectiles at a tree on either the left or the right enough times to have a large fruit land on Calimonstro's head but be sure to move out of the way so you don't sustain damage too
to it. Ferri Ruins' opening level theme delves in lowkey mystical middle eastern instrumentation as Phix travels over the sand, its second level theme has got a techno-based ominous air about it, and the third level theme sounds hypnotic yet exotic. The first Neel Volcano level theme has got a swaying tropical quality to its composition, the second level theme is brief and features a deep bass in its melody, and the third level theme starts off slow but then builds up to a atmospheric melody. Techno City Lauterbur's first level theme has a rock-based melody to it with a chilling aura about it very late in the proceedings, the second level theme is disorienting and chaotic with the occasional aggression of the electric guitar in the background, and the third level theme has got a subdued yet slow-paced action beat. The
Left: Your next stop is Ferri Ruins | Right: Caught in a harmful sand tornado
opening level theme of Savart Castle sounds calm and atmospheric with the oriental instrumentation, the second level theme sounds faster-paced as Phix travels from roof to roof where later on the composition is given an additional oomph to the melody, and finally its third level theme has got a sense of finality as you're in the last stretch of the game with a subdued sense of urgency with its composition. Each of Magnetica World's bosses have their own theme which makes them more distinct from one another: Calimonstro's theme starts off quiet and then segues to something lightheartedly imposing, Mr. Powder's theme has got a death metal flavor to it, Rollin' Rocco's theme sounds like a grandiose and occasionally heroic-sounding mockup of what a manned robot anime theme sounds like, and lastly Señor Shōgun's theme sounds very strange throughout most of it while for a brief moment there is Left: Trying (and failing) to reach the life situated above through a super jump | Right: Scaling up a steep sandy incline
an oriental do or die quality to the sound. The soundtrack by itself is honestly not that bad on its own terms, it's just a shame that you have to audibly sift through the sound effects and voices with the default sound settings selected just to hear it while playing the game proper. While it's mainly reserved for the sounds of the eponymous main character and the random gibberish espoused by the equally random enemies you encounter, there are voices in Phix provided by Akane Tomonaga (who in this game was credited as Kotori Morino) and Kouzi Sekido. Tomonaga previously lent her voice talent to Affect with Hikari no Shima and has since had a wealth of video game voice acting credits to her name (primarily the visual novel genre), however in the case of Sekido this was his only video game role to date.
Left: Accosted by a green robed enemy | Right: Once in a while you will come across particular crystals that require just enough energy blasts to create a magnetic forcefield
When Phix no Daibōken was released in Japan in 2000 it was given unflattering reviews, with Famitsu awarding it a 21 out of 40, and the same could be said for the North American counterpart Phix: The Adventure three years later, with the monthly Official U.S. PlayStation Magazine assigning it a 30% verdict. Information on this game is incredibly scarce with not much known of its development save for who worked on it and when it came out, largely because it came and went with next to no fanfare as it quickly fell into the depths of obscurity (having come out during the PlayStation 2's infancy in Japan and during its peak in North America). And yet, Phix no Daibōken would see a rerelease in 2018 as a downloadable title on the PlayStation Store by GungHo Online Entertainment in Hong Kong.
Left: Just sustained damage by a fidgety prone to bursting blue bomb | Right: Correctly crack the Lights Out floor code and you'll open the doorway to the next level
38 months does sound like a long gap between the original Japanese release and the North American localization, to be sure, but belated Western PlayStation One releases were nothing new at this point. In fact, there have been games that have taken a much longer period of time to reach North American shores after their initial debut in Japan and/or Europe: notable examples being Kemco's 1997 title The Bombing Islands: Kid Klown no Krazy Puzzle took roughly three and a half years to reach here (as The Bombing Islands), ITE Games' 1998 PAL-based venue Hugo: The Evil Mirror took well over four years to arrive here, Altron's 1997 sequel Robo-Pit 2 took nearly six years to be localized in the West, it took until 2002 forLeft: It's a bouncing blue pig-like head enemy a ways ahead | Right: Which means you can release another translucent creature if you so choose to fire enough opposite magnetic projectiles at it
Working Designs to release the compilation Arc the Lad Collection (with the first of the previously Japan-only G-Craft titles turning seven that year), and Tose's 1995 licensed tournament fighter Dragon Ball Z: Ultimate Battle 22 was pushing eight years old by the time it finally reached North America. Fairly late in the PlayStation One's lifespan, but the reality of the matter is that Phix's delayed localization is the least of its problems. The idea of a platforming game revolving around magnetism and switching between magnetic polarities in order to make progress is interesting in concept, especially since it pertains to Phix who has unwittingly become a living magnet due the Magnia Stone being lodged in hisLeft: Keep your distance from those vapors lest you wish to sustain damage from it | Right: Totem pole time, the key is fire the opposite magnetic charge at each piece (N to S and S to N when appropriate), you must accomplish this on both the left and the right chamber in order to gain access to the next segment
tummy, which it doesn't live up to and sorely falters in execution for a myriad of reasons. Among the first problems is the camera revolving around Phix which has got a bad habit of looking down at the ground, which sets a precedent for making things inconvenient for you which is not helped by the fact that you have close to zero camera controls at your stead. There are two different kinds of levels: the spacious, open-ended levels and the more linear and straightforward levels. In the former types of levels holding down the L1 button will place the camera behind Phix, which is something you'll want to know since any time you move towards the left or to the right then the camera will revolve in either direction in such
Left: Magnetically pushing the same-colored object until it touches its designated spot | Right: Do be mindful, though, of the spear traps shooting from the eye sockets of the skulls adorning the adjacent wall upon physically walking into their vicinity
an awkward zoetrope-like manner that it reduces your field of vision pertaining to the present level's environment especially since you'll need to be careful of enemies that might pop up from any which direction (even when you're not moving you have to be wary). I noticed that no matter which way he moved in the normal levels Phix is affixed to the central region of the screen at all times even when he reaches the top or the bottom edge. The only time he isn't relegated to the middle is during boss fights, where he can move around on all sides of the available playing field, but that doesn't guarantee mitigation for gameplay-related problems or anything in the way of having any semblance of camera controls.The 3D Sonic World mini hub in Sonic Team's Sonic Jam did have a tendency of having the camera look at the ground as well, but that's made up for the fact that there were a multitude of camera controls. You could zoom in on and zoom out from Sonic, revolve the camera around him in either direction, enable random camera angles at the press of a button, and if you moved with just enough traction the camera would allow you to look across as well. Left: Standing on a rising and lowering red platform | Right: Jump from a blue rising and lowering platform to a normal platform
With the fact that you have little in the way of camera controls it makes for an experience that is not very cogent and conducive to the fun and enjoyability of this game which is not aided by the fact that the core gameplay doesn't feel very cogent and conducive to the fun and enjoyability of this game either. Phix is a real mess to play from beginning to end. Startlingly bereft of polish on a functional basis, if there's anything that is worse than being hampered by constant blind spots it is abysmally poor controls and the fact that you feel forced to play a certain way to make it through at the expense of making the proceedings feel unnatural and counterintuitive to being fun. Failure to do so, even when you finally figure out what it is that you need to accomplish after fumbling about for an embarrassing amount of time, will end up
And with a superimposed matting of the top and bottom of the screen fading into the scene, too, because apparently Affect felt that Phix's downfall was deemed worthy of cinematic flair which given the asinine and unpolished affair instead comes across as taking a full-on piss out of you for even playing it 😫
with Phix dying. A lot. You will be greeted to the same unskippable sequences: if not of Phix careening down the abyss after failing to clear a gap (be it a dark hole, water, or lava), then by losing health completely with one solitary axial cut centered on an astonished Phix who spins around circularly in slow motion until he hits the ground in which case he bounces off the surface one time until he stops while facing down as time around him has frozen over. The more these occurred, the more annoyed I was listening to the same scratchy high-pitched squeal, hearing the same stock anime shine sound effect upon the game informing you how many lives you have remaining, hearing the delirious "wheeu wheeu" fanfare upon starting a level or picking up from the checkpoint, or hearing Phix mumbling "piku, piku, pikupiku, piku, piku" at the continue screen after having lost your last life. It's all enough to make Phix wear out its welcome before long, making for an arduously torturous and repetitiously tedious experience. But I realize I'm getting ahead of myself, so permit me to elaborate.To me, Jin is the only character worth playing as in Cacoma Knight for her quick agility and fast pace, the mileage with the medium-paced Hii varied, but with Kakomaru his slowness made playing as him highly undesirable; I understand the need to differentiate each character so as to not feel like you're playing the same one, but in this case I think Affect went too far
Let me start by saying that you'll be massively relieved to know that you'll never have to resort to holding down the R2 shoulder button to walk at any point because what it does is make Phix walk at such a slow pace that it makes the automaton Kakomaru from Cacoma Knight look positively swift by comparison (even when holding down a button to move faster). Kakomaru's movement was so inconveniently slow in that game that it made it hard to avert and overcome the haphazardly moving enemies and projectiles on time, but at least the direction behind your objective was clear. Suffice it to say that Phix is singlehandedly the worst playable character in an Affect game, even if he moves faster than Kakomaru did.Left: Magnetically incapacitate that foe from a distance | Right: Riding a holographic cube across which will move only after firing a single projectile to it, meaning you have a little window of opportunity to get to a convenient point where you can reach it
Because he swallowed the Magnia Stone, Phix has become the living embodiment of a magnet. Magnets attract metal. Magnets have two polarities. Attacking an enemy with an S polarity with an N polarity projectile, or vice versa, will effectively take care of them, however if you attack an enemy that shares the same polarity as the one you're currently utilizing you'll be adding to their health rather than subtracting until you attack with the opposite polarity. Taking them out doesn't make them gone for good as they will respawn after a short time, which you could do if it's an enemy that drops a big crystal (but not for too long as the clock is ticking) but the best way to take them on is by attacking from a distance. There are crystals for you to gather, if you so choose: if a crystal is green then no matter what polarity you're currently set at it's fair game, but if you're trying to obtain a crystal that shares theLeft: The Medusa-like Gorgonya raining lightning wherever Phix recently positioned himself | Right: Fire at the torches enough times to cause major damage to her above, as long as they don't recede back to the ground
same color as your present polarity (N being red and S being blue) then they will pull away from you upon trying to approach them unless you maintain a neutral charge by holding down the ☐ button or switch over to the opposite polarity in which case said crystals would remain in place. Forcefields will also act different depending on Phix's present polarity, most will be situated on the ground while in some instances they will be positioned in midair. By trying to approach a forcefield that is the same color as his present polarity he'll be kept out, but by switching polarity Phix will be dragged and pulled to the opposite-colored spot magnetically. If you wanted to gain airtime through a forcefield you must be sure to be set to the polarity of the like color, be above it and lightly press the ☐ button with apt timing; one Techno City Lauterbur level has you in a situation where you must cross a wide gap filledLeft: Keep away from the slithering snakes Gorgonya lowers down from her snake hair | Right: With ample timing jump over the energy wave
with two forcefields back-to-back where lightly pressing the button again and again while moving ahead is the only way to make it past. The problem with this approach is that it's not a very intuitive way of going about it for you're not going to know that the first, second, fifth, twelfth, or twentieth-plus try. One does not automatically arrive to this conclusion with that leap in logic (it's too demanding an ask). Even for the ground forcefields, especially those that are positioned near the edge of a platform, it's awkward to have to just hold down the ☐ button as you walk past them just so they don't affect you in any way. Seeing as Phix's normal jumps aren't very high to begin with, the key to cross the gap when platforming is to not jump at the last second or while moving toward the very edge otherwise you will fall and be forced to either start from the beginning of the level or by the checkpoint after grabbing aLeft: Someone alert Konami, there's a Moai head with feet | Right: More magnets to contend with
coin. Because of the Magnia Stone that is currently in his system, this renders Phix a walking liability. He is a huge target, not just for the (respawning) enemies he encounters along the way but anything that has the potential to magnetically attract him (especially when it comes to simple platforming, like the lily pad platforms at the beginning of Savart Castle). This honestly makes the game as a whole trepidatious to play through. Even if you try to play as conscientiously and as carefully as you can, you'll still suffer from mandatory damage in one form or another. You'll still fall for whatever reason. You'll resort to starting the level over again and again after using up a continue, and playing through the levels again just to get back to where you were is such a tedious task with the moderate pacing compounded by the awkward controls and equally awkward structure. Literally not one level that has beenLeft: Precariously jumping on molten rock platforms situated on deadly lava | Right: ...I don't really have the heart for a "take heart" reference this time
successfully played through on the first try, and the aforementioned camera issues in the normal levels don't make the situation any better. The opening level of Techno City Lauterbur is designed in a manner where there is one central platform of a circular layout surrounded by elevators in four points where the goal is to press the buttons at the top in order to open the exit. Oh, but you cannot just do it in any order as it must be done in numerical order, and the only way to know which elevator is the right one to ride up on is if it's got the correct Roman numerical value; but the only way to know for sure is when you perform the super jump by the forcefield next to said elevator because the camera is woefully unreliable otherwise (and the elevator doesn't touch the ground, not aiding matters is there are holes below it if you fail to reach it). Because you're prone to take damage if you go
Left: You can either roam left or roam right, either way you'll find yourself at the other end of the circular layout | Right: Be careful of the fire raining down on the old wooden bridge
through the central region and your health is limited to begin with, you have to ride around the curves of the circular layout to avoid such easy damage-taking. The elevators could've just been sequenced in a way that makes sense (like taking a cyclical route that is clockwise or counterclockwise would've been ideal), but not making sense is Phix's raison d'être as instead the proper elevators to take are scrambled so you have to take a needlessly long amount of time to get to them. What exactly about this sounds like it was rational and reasonable a structural idea? It doesn't. I don't believe this game was playtested properly, or if it was (doubtful as that may be the case) then the credits don't bother mentioning them. As far as I was concerned, things do not get better the farther you get in the game for things honestly feel like they get progressively worse. The penultimate level of Savart Castle is laid
Left: This is the magnetic equivalent of Whack-A-Mole, where you shoot the opposite color projectiles to the respective idols popping up from the holes--get them all in ample time four times, and you'll be able to access the exit | Right: But before you do that, you must physically push the box all the way to the end as the exit is situated slightly above what a normal jump can reach
out in a labyrinthine manner and is structured nonlinearly for it is comprised of a series of interconnected rooms and is the only normal level where you cannot access the map because of this. It's different, but there are still enemies abound and you don't want to take too many chances with them plus you won't know the proper way to go until you go through trial and error. The trial and error, in the case of this game, doesn't feel fruitful because of the number of lives you lose just to get through the damn level because of how unfair the proceedings are. The normal game is strictly linear regarding the order you access the levels, but after having cleared those you're given an opportunity to play through those again in any given order in challenge mode. The levels in this game were frustratingly aggravating and tediously redundant to get through to begin with, why would I want to subject myself through all ofLeft: For this level and this level only you can alternate between magnetic polarities to propel yourself across like a slingshot up until you reach the end of the straight line | Right: Changing polarity
that again? That's nihilistic masochist territory at this point, just cruel and unusual punishment that's not worth undertaking. Phix is just soul-sucking and is completely devoid of fun. The boss fights generally aren't any better, though whether you attack them with the N or S magnetic polarity makes no difference as they are equally as effective. It's easy to take hits regardless of whether you're careful or not. The fight against Gorgonya requires that Phix fire just enough magnetic projectiles at the four torches that are right underneath her (which you'll have to wait for to rise up from the ground first), but the rightmost one is situated underneath her snake arm which you have to wait for her to raise in order to fire at it but complicating matters is the fact you only have a tiny window of opportunity to do that, she'll occasionally unleash snakes from her hair to slither toward Phix, and she'll occasionally
Left: Reaching a green crystal by performing a super jump through a blue forcefield | Right: Weight-based platforming, so jump lightly to not sink the platform down
rain down thunder on you. Rollin' Rocco's boss battle has got four beacons that you must fire on to activate, but they're all time-based meaning you won't have a proper chance to deal a major amount of damage so the only recourse is to hide behind one of the pillars, avoid the heat-seeking missiles, and fire magnetic projectiles at the boss so long as he's not rolled up into a ball (this just makes the boss fight feel like it drags on longer than necessary). Then there's Señor Shōgun where he walks at a lumbering pace but nonetheless has a swift katana which is more often than not hard to avoid, and the effective way to make that boss take damage is by firing just enough projectiles at a corner cannon (it's very particular, for you have to be right near it and aim for it properly for anything to happen). I have no patience for this game playing it as an adult and found it frustrating, I can't envision children having any patience for it without losing their cool. I'm not the controller-breaking sort of gamer, but there were moments where I felt tempted to with Phix: The Adventure, it's that bad.You can't convince me that those mischievous eye grins belong to someone who is not up to no good...
The circumstances behind Phix's plight feels highly suspect, if I'm being perfectly honest. Am I just supposed to believe it was all a matter of happenstance? The cleric is that psychically linked to the Magnia Stone he knew its whereabouts exactly? How do I know it wasn't him or his subordinates that caused the catalyst in the first place? It all just feels like one needlessly convoluted ploy to have Phix venture to them to get it out of his system and be catapulted up to the sky temple to not only restore balance by putting the Magnia Stone back in its rightful place but to presumedly trap him there eternally with no possible way down. These translucent creatures are supposedly the good guys. I don't know about that...Left: Project enough magnetic projectiles to the fountain on the wall in order to clean up Mr. Powder's act | Right: Don't relax just yet, you also have to evade the flame magic that Mr. Powder conjures up
Based on the nonexistent quality Phix exudes, you'd think the people at Affect who worked on it were completely untalented or incompetent... except the creative team were involved in games that are (somewhat) enjoyable or are considered classics. Producer Tsutomu Yoshikawa conceived Taito's Operation Wolf, programmed, directed, and designed Athena's Wit's, programmed and directed Athena's Dragon Unit/Castle of Dragon and Sword Master, and he programmed and directed the earlier Affect title Cacoma Knight, director/designer Tatsuro Murayama worked on the wrestler animation for Human Entertainment's Super Fire Pro Wrestling Queen's Special and as character designer in Taito and Affect's Chaos Heat, programmer Masaya Numashita co-programmed Chaos Heat and Kazuhito Takeuchi would lend his programming skills to Bandai's Digimon World series from the third entry onward,Oh, what did Westone's beautiful, beautiful classic do to deserve sharing ties with this game? ☹️
designer Yuki Fukushima designed the insect enemy in Kuusoukagaku's PlayStation conversion of Quest Corporation's Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together, designer Hideo Nakajima lent his voice to Westone's Clockwork Aquario (which was cancelled in 1993 but would not be released until 2021) and took on the "modeler" role for the same firm's Monster World IV (which was released, but initially only in Japan), et al. Given this evidence, what happened with Phix? Development info on this game is as equally nonexistent as its quality, in my opinion, so all one can do is speculate, theorize, and form conjecture. What is concrete is that we were not there, we do not know what happened behind closed doors, and it was produced in 2000. Given that in the same year Affect also worked on a couple video game adaptations based on Clamp's Cardcaptor Sakura manga series I sincerely hope this wasn't a case of the developer spending so much money to obtain the license that they didn't secure enough funds to create a quality game because that would be a real shame that if that were the case. And since we know nothing about its development, who's to say it wasn't aLeft: Above the forcefield is an elevator, but you need to time your jump right and wait for it to be at the right spot in order to get on it (it'd be much more convenient if the game had a convenient camera system) | Right: Ride up the elevators in the correct numerical order
compromised title? Who's to say it wasn't worked on with a lack of motivation? Who's to say the game wasn't operated with a dearth of critical thinking this side of 2020's era Democratic politicians (minus the dangerously suicidal and self-destructive ideologies, penchant for power, radical extremism, left-leaning liberal lunacy, embrace of double standards, fearmongering, gaslighting, apathy, absconding from accountability all the time, victim-blaming, virtue signaling, enablement of criminal behavior, causing irreversible mental health problems, encouragement of faux outrage, inciting of violent rhetoric, imposing that people walk through eggshells, normalizing ad hominem attacks and division, spreading misery, ignorance preying, innocence feigning, lack of authenticity, overreliance on stereotyping and doubling down, pandering to marginalized communities, having absolute contempt for logical thinking and rationale, egregious propensity to bring out the worst in people, debilitated derangement, deliberately brainwashing young people to be consigned to a life of blind hatefulness because they themselves are consumed by blind hatefulness, odious self-aggrandizing, duplicitousness, complicity and complacency, toying with the lives of people, predisposition toward abject selfishness, fixation on trivial matters instead of what truly matters the most, remorseless idiocy that impels them to micturate and dance on the graves of dead people, disconnection from reality, lack of human compassion, and infuriating insistence on living in a fantasy world so as to never experience real-world pain like the immorally regressive and thin-skinned cowards that they are)? Unless it comes from the
Left: Push all the buttons in the correct order to open up the exit to the next level | Right: And do be careful of those bespectacled lab coat wearing half-boy/half-tank enemies
mouth of someone previously involved with Affect's development team, we don't know for certain. A little insight would go a long way in understanding their frame of mind during the making of the game, but the sad thing is I don't think we'll know any time soon because, from what I imagine, they either feel too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about Phix or they found the experience of working on it so underwhelming and unremarkable that they feel it much too forgettable to talk about. There is no saving this game no matter what one does.I can't, though. I can't commend the serviceable quality of its visual presentation. I can't remark on the reasonably rendered quality of the cutscenes in the beginning and ending of the game designed by Jiro Hanzawa. I can't commend the decent music it has in places. I can't commend the occasional inclusion of puzzle scenarios. I can't remark on this game being a rare occasion where you fight against the bosses in alphabetical order (formality included). I can't commend the elaborately sequenced lead up to these bosses prior to engaging in battle. I can't remark on the wide assortment of randomly and peculiarly designed enemies you encounter along the way. I can't remark on the variety of the locales The blank expression Phix wears makes me think of that one internet meme I've seen visually referenced or verbally brought up: "no thoughts, head empty"--suppose he is thinking of something, though, would you be able to ascertain that by looking at his face?
that Phix must travel through. I cannot even remark on how soft Phix's feet appear in the cutscenes or even remark on the silly alliterative name scheme of the otherwise regionally mismatched final boss Señor Shōgun. None of what I've mentioned does anything to ameliorate or resolve any of the gameplay problems. It all amounts to one giant moot point that doesn't mean anything. Because at the end of the day, it is all in the service of an awful, terrible, no good, very bad game. It just doesn't feel like it was thought through very well, and on the super rare instances that it does feel thought through (and believe me when I say it is rare) it's all undermined by the many structural and fundamental problems that plagueLeft: Skidding | Right: Steam
the proceedings. For that matter, Phix doesn't feel like it was worked on with considerable care in the slightest. Compounding that notion is the fact that inserting the game disc on a music player actually doubles it as a soundtrack but instead of having each number isolated by their own tracks they've all been lumped into one big one (meaning you'd either have to wait until a certain track is over or fast forward to get to the number you want to listen to). That doesn't ring as a sound production value to me. I could commiserate with Infogrames for their 1991 Sega 16-bit video game adaptation of Disney's revered 1940 classic Fantasia, at least, knowing they never stood much of a chance with Sega (who allocated all the necessaryLeft: Flames all around | Right: Creature with a Mohawk
resources toward the making of Sonic Team's Sonic the Hedgehog, and not enough toward the making of the Disney platformer) in full control as publisher rushing the game out the window before there was even a chance to fix any bugs and issues that needed attending to (that doesn't change the fact that the released product is not a good game, but being aware of its production problems, that have since been widely documented, made it easy to put it all into perspective). I cannot share that same sense of commiseration toward Affect in the case of Phix because I know absolutely nothing behind its production. For that matter, I don't even know anything about Affect or its sense of business practice and work ethic.Punky Skunk was endearing, very manageable in difficulty, played solidly, was pleasant to look at, had a delightfully engaging soundtrack, had a depth of gameplay element to it by switching between different sports attire to help explore areas further, and above all was a fun game to play while it lasted, in my opinion; Phix: The Adventure, on the other hand, provided no joy whatsoever and is bereft of charm
Famitsu gave Phix no Daibōken a 21 out of 40, as a reminder. Apropos of nothing, a 21 out of 40 was the exact same verdict they gave to Ukiyotei's PlayStation platformer Kuri Skunk years earlier suggesting that these games are on par in terms of quality. No. Absolutely not.The moral of the story is: reviewers and critics do not know what they're doing 100% of the time (some days I feel magazine reviewers and critics to be no better than elitists and gatekeepers); most simply do not have the decency, empathy, humility, or introspection to admit it! I'm not most reviewers, however, I am a human being with my own thoughts and feelings! Now I want to clarify that I do not take issue with the idea of someone disliking one of my all-time favorite Super Famicom games of all time, what I do take issue with is the notion of anyone trying to suggest that it is something it is not
Then again, we are talking about the same magazine which saw fit to give a hyper-polished third-party Super Famicom platformer such as--oh, I don't know, just to name off the top of my head--Hudson Soft's DoReMi Fantasy: Milon no DokiDoki Daibōken a 23 out of 40, which retroactively doesn't make any lick of sense given its classic status. All it does is just give me less and less incentive to trust Famitsu's line of judgement (there's subjectivity, and then there's just missing what's right in front of you). If I bring up their score, it is not out of endorsement or agreement with them but out of providing historical context. That's. It!Left: Hopping to a conveyor belt | Right: Magnet and blue half-boy/half-tank enemy while the flames are sprouting up in the background
I found Ferri Ruins' Gorgonya to be the most distractingly designed boss as well as the most problematic element in the entire game. She is the only female boss out of the five guardians of Magnetica World. The idea of the camera placement is that it surveys pretty much the whole room with a clear view of her as she towers over Phix, however there is a problem with this: the texture of her (bar her face which is simply designed) is so detailed that it makes her breasts and cleavage stand out. Said breasts will move or bounce in a subtle manner whenever she's about to attack, which adds to the distracting element (she's not bare-breasted, but she may as well be with how revealing her green snake-themed top is). I look away from her and focus on taking her down, but the game's structure is so broken that I'mLeft: Robot in sight | Right: Be sure to alternate between going left and right depending where the mine cars emerge from across from you, and if need be maintain a neutral charge to not get sucked in by a magnetic forcefield
reduced to losing countless lives until eventually I do take her down. I don't want to stay fighting this boss longer than I need to. It's about as uncomfortable a misogynistic/misandrist vibe as I felt witnessing the actions of the easily offended and lovesick menace to society Friday who delights in being obstinate and rude, bullies and harasses people into respecting her (which, by the way, that is not respect she's commanding but fear which sets an uncomfortably sinister precedent about her whether the writer Shinya Nishikawa intended to or not), and views women as a threat because of her unhealthily obsessive (albeit non-requital) crush on Nigel in Climax Entertainment's Landstalker: The Treasures of King Nole (not for a particular reason that clues us into her inner psyche to help
Left: Taken a hit from the flamethrower | Right: Walking on a metal panel
us understand her or anything but is written this way purely out of one-dimensional arbitrariness minus, for me personally, the charm and likability) plus the grisly demise of the kunoichi Catry in ASCII's Super Famicom platformer Ardy Lightfoot unlike the male bosses who have been let off scot-free by comparison. This isn't a game with mature themes and topics. This isn't a game catered toward hormonal teenagers. But for reasons known to Affect and Affect alone, they decided when making this supposed family-tailored video game to add a titillation factor. WHY?!?!? 😩 This! Does not!! Belong here!!! It's right up there with the equally uncomfortably out of place bathtub credits screen from Red Company and Aspect's Super Tempo making me question who the truly intended target audience is forLeft: Thus begins the most tediously overlong boss battle against Rollin' Rocco | Right: Hiding in the corner behind the beacon will act as a safe spot some of the time
a supposed family friendly title, but that game at least had the decency to save that questionable imagery for the end (and above all be a fun game to play overall). Gorgonya is the second out of Phix's five boss fights, you're not even halfway through the game by this point. No other boss has this vibe. It's about as myopic tone deaf '90s as you can get. Compounding even further to the distraction factor is the uncharacteristically upbeat pop theme that accompanies Gorgonya when fighting her that is inescapably earwormy to the point that it will stay in your head long after you've heard it. Not aiding matters is the fact that it's got background vocals later on which to me sound like evil chanting (if it's not supposed to be evil chanting, the demonic-like sound channels certainly don't do anything to dissuade that notion). Again, no other boss has this, it's creepy. What the fop, Affect. 🤨 It's worth noting that Ano Shimizu acted as character designer for Cacoma Knight and the Makeruna! Makendō series
I would never accuse Makeruna! Makendō on the Super Famicom of a being great game or anything, but for my reckoning it is honestly the best one I've played that was developed by Affect as well as the most fun I've had playing an Affect title. It also nicely fills the double whammy sweet spot for unapologetically silly lighthearted anime vibes as well as being a goofy antithesis to Telenet Japan's Valis franchise that it is parodying and lampooning off of. Flawed, admittedly cheap on occasion, but solid fun. Cacoma Knight is okay as an alternative to Taito's Qix formula but is only truly fun when playing as Jin, in my book. I got something out of both of these games, at least, which is more than I could say for Phix.Left: Lily pad jumping | Right: Raining missiles, try to avoid them
A1 Games and Tommo could've picked any other game by Affect to localize to the North American market, but they chose this one. They probably felt that it was ideally low-profile (i.e. cheaply inexpensive) and innocuous a pick, but for me personally this game is anything but innocuous. I mentioned earlier the blunder Tommo made with the physical rerelease of Technōs Japan Corp.'s Return of Double Dragon and how it only works on third-party systems, but the final outcome of Phix had nothing to do with Tommo. It was all Affect. I had no reason to believe when I first learned of and looked into this game in November 2018Left: Crossing a makeshift felled tree bridge | Right: Taking care of a pesky scarecrow
that it would be soul-crushingly bad, but it wasn't until I tried playing it through for the first time three years later that its true colors would be shown to me (the feelings would not be any different three years after that, either, despite knowing the cacophonous nonsense that would arise). There had been games I knew nothing of before buying them that I ended up enjoying in one way or another (like Ukiyotei's aforementioned Punky Skunk, I like that game), but this was not one of those instances. Instead of feeling rewarded or accomplished by beating the game after struggling for four to five hours straight, I ended up feeling emptyLeft: Rooftop ninja | Right: Regenerated bomb enemy
and disillusioned as I accurately predicted Phix's inquiry of how he would get down from the Magnia Stone's resting place after being catapulted up there and retroactively found all the effort to play it through had been for naught. Everything leading up to this point ultimately amounted to being a complete waste of time, four to five hours I knew would never get back that I could've spent doing something better and more enjoyable. 😞 Phix is a broken failure of a game, one that should not have been released in its present state in any region of the
Left: Deal with more ninjas inside the Savart Castle | Right: Jump off to the diagonal squares to avoid the spike traps, and especially be mindful of the hair-tossing enemies here and there
globe. It makes the prospect of playing lesser PlayStation fare such as Traveller's Tales' Rascal/Bubblegun Kid look far more appealing by comparison. I've seen a couple thumbnails on YouTube regarding it as the worst game there is, but as tempting as it would be I elect not to bother with videos that potentially amount exclusively to being clickbait and not delivering on what it's advertising (besides, video reviews with consistently negative vibes, and if applicable persistently needless shouting, throughout just aren't fun and healthy these days--speaking of things that were retroactively a waste of time to bother watching during my younger years--which is why I've long since outgrown them in favor of moreLeft: After travelling far and wide it is time to face off against the final boss, Yoshimitsu Señor Shōgun, whose blade is very swift | Right: Shoot enough projectiles at the cannons to have them fire on him
balanced, thoroughly informative, genuinely funny, and/or positive ones when I'm in the mood). No, I won't say Phix is the worst PlayStation One game I've played, but I will say it is the most miserable I've felt playing a PlayStation One game. Enough to make me contemplate if perhaps video games were a mistake after all. There are better and more substantive games that you could play on the PlayStation One that actually deliver on providing fun and enjoyment in any form and capacity. To me personally, this game is truly kusoge. I don't recommend playing Phix, unironically and ironically. Life is too short. 👎
q(ｖ-ｖ)pTO EACH THEIR OWNq(ｖ-ｖ)p
● For Phix: The Adventure alone, I managed to take 758 screenshots for this review. Obviously, I wasn't going to use all of them, so I had to trim down the count and go through the process of elimination. As such, because this game did not make me feel very good, I did not wish to grant it any semblance of legitimacy by covering it on the year of its 25th anniversary in 2025, which is why I did it this year (and I would not have had any patience to wait until 2026 if I failed to cover this soon). It would not have earned it, for that would have been akin to rewarding bad behavior... as if there hadn't been enough of that this past half-decade.
● So, when listening to the music through the game disc on a player, during the last two minutes it plays in sequential order the bosses' losing remarks and gratitude toward Phix upon restoring their lucidity in their native Japanese language based on how it would've been heard in Phix no Daibōken, but as far as Phix: The Adventure's in-game events go specifically it's just a dialogue box with no speaking voice behind them.
● As if this game wasn't guilty of so many things to start with, Phix is also guilty of false advertising: at no point during the entirety of the game does the titular pink creature slip on a banana peel as is shown in the title screen based on the Japanese cover art, nor are there any banana peels present at all.
● I can get over a video game that I found to be bad or truly unenjoyable in time. Real world tragedies are not so easy to get over. It's called "priorities".
● Irrelevant to this game, but sometime in mid-October I caught up with Steven Spielberg's first truly theatrically designated movie with his 1974 film The Sugarland Express on Amazon Prime Video. It was a movie I knew of for a while and I was curious to watch it, I forget what I was searching to have it come up in the first place but when I saw I thought, "Oh, cool, I don't think I'll have an opportunity again, let's watch it." I've never seen Goldie Hawn and William Atherton so young, oh my God, Atherton especially with that Southern drawl (to think he would portray the human foil that was Walter Peck in the late Ivan Reitman's Ghostbusters a decade later and forty years after that would become the sitting mayor of New York in Gil Kenan's Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire). Both are good in this movie and have a decent chemistry with one another as Lou Jean and Clovis, and while the start is very rough I did appreciate the growing relationship between them and their captive Patrolman Slide played by Michael Sacks, how over time he learns to have care and empathy for his captors who don't exactly come across like they're right in the head, mostly Lou Jean--as he's tied up he overhears on the radio Lou Jean's father which gives him the impression that she did not have healthy upbringing and puts into perspective why she behaves as erratically as she does, and upon Lou Jean returning to the car to check in on him he asks her to turn off the radio because he did not want to listen to that anymore which is honestly touching and shows Spielberg's grasp of empathy generating storytelling). The cinematography by the late Vilmos Zsigmond (who would collaborate with Spielberg again in Close Encounters of the Third Kind three years later) is gorgeous, I loved looking at the Texas sunrise and the sunset (especially during the end credits with the rippling and shimmering Mexico border waters with the silhouettes of Sacks and the late Ben Johnson's Captain Tanner), and so early in his career Spielberg had a clear eye for CinemaScope (evidently this was the first movie shot with Panavision Panaflex cameras). Having said that, I ended up not feeling all that invested in the movie as a whole; if anything, I think I appreciated more for Spielberg's technical craft than as a cohesive narrative (as Johnson is driving at one point, there's a moment where we the audience see his eyes through the rearview mirror in one half of the screen while the other half features the car in front of them with Sacks, Lou Jean, and Clovis, with Lou Jean trying to flirt with Tanner; and later we have Spielberg's initial attempt at the dolly zoom technique only it's from the perspective of the sniper who ends up fatally shooting Clovis). Having watched the movie, I can see why the late movie critic Roger Ebert wasn't all that enthused by it and can understand what he was getting at: the movie constantly cuts between the main three characters and the parade of police cars that go after them, constantly. We only know enough of the central characters to want to know about them further but instead we only know the basics; I'm not saying stick with them 100% of the time, the occasional cut away from them is fine, but it happens far too often that if affects the movie's sense of pacing (I checked my phone two times to see what time it was, I was shocked that it had only been roughly fifty minutes the first time I checked it felt longer). It was hard not feel antsy here and there (the initial drive by the elderly couple with the elder driving at such a slow pace it was irritating, and upon their car being jacked by Lou Jean and Clovis because of a misunderstanding as the cop approached the car the two elderly people are left stranded whom we only cut back to them one time and they're still waiting, which is negligently cruel and not at all funny especially since both times the police just tell them to "stay put" as opposed to offering a ride to their home). The tone felt wildly uneven at points (some of the bits the movie tried to pass off as funny I felt to be anything but, like the aforementioned checking back on the pair of elders who are hopelessly stranded on the road), there is a moment when Tanner's parade of police cars during a nighttime ride gets inconvenienced and wrecked by two out of state rookie cops that comes across like a farce comedy, but this isn't a farce comedy, but this moment feels like a farce comedy. 😶 The later 1941 was a farce comedy, The Sugarland Express is not. One scene has Johnson fire shots at the wheels of the news people's car which have them fly off toward the mud (with very impressive stunt work as they flew toward the camera) which sort of got a chuckle out of me (was this a commentary on the complicit and complacent nature of the news media or was this done purely without considering the deeper implications of the subject it was critiquing? Either way,... funny?). John Williams' score (in his first collaboration with Spielberg) is nice, but Lord help me if I can remember any of his cues from this film it was just... there. Even if I wasn't that invested, it's not the sort of film by Spielberg you could easily rewatch because of the nature of the story and the somber way it ends. I did like the final scene where it's all silent with no words exchanged, with Tanner arriving to notice a lost and forlorn Lou Jean in the back seat as her husband Clovis in the driver's seat had just succumbed to his fatal wound, that was a powerful moment in a movie that I otherwise did not find that potent. I found it a step down from Spielberg's TV feature-length movie debut Duel. I do feel bad for being hard, I don't think it's a bad or unwatchable or poorly made movie, but it was hard to feel 100% invested (I did feel exhausted by the time it was over, but not for the reason the movie intended). I understand it's all a learning process for directors, he would improve upon his craft over time from his next film Jaws onward. I'm glad I finally watched The Sugarland Express, but I don't see myself rewatching it any time soon.
● Not relating to this game as well as is: while it was available on YouTube, I forget if it was the end of October or the beginning of November, I caught up with John Carpenter's 1983 film Christine, adapted to the screen by Bill Phillips (who makes an appearance as a boombox junkie at the end) based on Stephen King's novel of the same name which the author held with as much esteem as the late Stanley Kubrick's adaptation of King's The Shining (by which I mean, he didn't care for it). I remember when attending the 30th anniversary screening of Spielberg's Jurassic Park in 2023 how it showed a 40th anniversary Fathom Events trailer for Christine. I didn't get to go (real-life scheduling would've made it difficult to attend anyway), but now that I got to catch up with this through YouTube, all I say is: it was reasonably well-made with talents both in front of and behind the camera, but not necessarily something that I would call easily watchable. Oh, it's watchable, but it's not comfortable viewing; the first half hour or so I felt to be rather ugly (so much so I was almost regretting turning it on, but I had no one but myself to blame for even being curious in the first place and wanting so desperately to catch up with more of Carpenter's work with the proper CinemaScope aspect ratio, so I pressed on) on a spiritual and tonal level. I'm not a prude, I'm not above swearing (so long as it's not used loosely, also I believe in the concept of "time and space"), but with Christine it got border-on verbally abusive to the point that it felt uncomfortable (including a handful of unexpected C-bomb swears by the bullies as a slight on Keith Gordon's character Arnie's last name; I've only watched Vampires once, but I don't recall even that movie resorting to using that term). Not that it's meant to be comfortable, being a Stephen King adaptation, but the balance just wasn't there for me in the opening stretch. After Arnie discovers the titular car which the late Roberts Blossom tries to give to him, the instant cut to Arnie's mother's "You did what?!" consternation face made me go, "Oh, no, I hate that! I hate that! I hate that so much!" 😣 This is nothing on Christine Belford (who is only 11-12 years older than Gordon in real life, which is so weird to find out, that voice and makeup made me believe she might have been way older), she's just doing what is asked of her, but I hated that overbearing demeanor she made which I felt (in part) set the precedent behind Arnie's rash decision-making and only exists (again, in part) to make us the audience sympathize with him. Keith Gordon is a very good actor (I liked him in Jeannot Szwarc's Jaws 2) and pulls off a tremendous performance with this movie undergoing a complete transformation from shy and timidly defenseless yet good-hearted individual to gaining confidence to desperately obsessive as well as purely possessive to completely unhinged sociopath who has lost all traces of humanity within him due to the evil influence from his newly gained vehicle (I hope there wasn't any method acting involved, that only exists to justify and validate being an arsehole in real life which is a terrible look). He goes from someone you root for to making you retroactively take back rooting for him altogether, he's that terrifying and far gone in the end. The cinematography by Donald M. Morgan (who'd collaborate with Carpenter again for Starman the next year), it's a very different photographic approach than what Dean Cundey utilizes in Carpenter's previous films but nonetheless is wildly effective in its own right. For 1983, Chrstine's self-repair sequence was very impressive to watch visually after being viciously demolished and defecated on by the bullies, which both Arnie and Christine exact revenge on. Another impressive visual sequence is the scene where the lead bully played by William Ostrander (who is way too old to play a high schooler, c'mon! Even Randal Kleiser's Grease was more believable in terms of young adult actors portraying high school students) as he's being chased by Christine while she is completely engulfed in flames (leading up to that scene, I recognized one of the bullies being played by Steven Tash, who would go on to be given electric shocks by Bill Murray's Peter Venkman in Reitman's Ghostbusters... small world to recognize actors you've seen in something else before looking it up). The performances throughout are generally very good: I really liked John Stockwell as Arnie's best friend Dennis, Alexandra Paul's Leigh was down to earth and endearing as the love interest who assists Dennis for the movie's climax (I felt so much empathy for her, and I felt very bad for her too after Arnie broke up with her in a verbally abusive manner through the phone; Alexandra Paul just seems like a very down to earth kind of person too, I haven't watched Baywatch but for the past decade I have watched Allison Pregler Porteous' episodic Baywatching video review series on YouTube which is hilarious with the deep cuts and riffing on the plot lines and creative decision-making of the showrunners), it was shocking to see the late Robert Prosky play someone so disrespectful and verbally abusive after having seen him play a kindly old projectionist and confidant to Austin O'Brien's Danny in John McTiernan's Last Action Hero and as an emotionally conflicted but otherwise likable judge in Les Mayfield's 1994 remake of Miracle on 34th Street (it just comes to show the versatility he displayed as an actor throughout his career, rest in peace; I had no idea before watching this film that the idiom "you can't polish a turd" was used as far back as 1983), I was surprised to see the late Kelly Preston in it (in one of her first movie roles, not that she's given much to do here, but it was surprising to see her nonetheless, rest in peace), and the late Harry Dean Stanton (rest in peace, you acting legend) is such a charismatic and delightful screen presence (he only appears in three scenes, including one where his Junkins is inexplicably acquainted with Dennis and Leigh at the very end despite not sharing any scenes beforehand, but for the time it lasts he truly makes the best of his role). The climax at the garage was thrilling also. My thoughts were I thought it was good and well-produced film, but because of the affrontery to the sensibilities at points (especially at the beginning) I found its ugly aspects enough to turn me off from watching it again (but hey, there's no instantly outdated ableist slur one would normally find in an '80s high school film... good job, uncharacteristically self-aware movie of the time period?). There's a part of me that honestly thinks him directing a high school movie with bullies is beneath Carpenter given his sensibilities as a director (it's a little too mean even for him, I feel), but then another part of me thinks that he is an exceptionally talented filmmaker with a good eye for cinema and knows how to set up his scenes and is crafty when it comes to suspense). I thought Christine was good, but too ugly in spots to warrant rewatching (I speak for myself though, we all have our own sensibilities).
● As Carpenter movies go, I feel much more comfortable rewatching his other work he was involved with in one form or another like Rick Rosenthal's Halloween II (which he composed, produced, and wrote) or some of his other directorial work like Big Trouble in Little China and that which I caught up with recently on Amazing Prime Video, The Fog. After a long time of being curious, I learned only two weeks I published my review of Helio Game's PlayStation One adaptation of The Smurfs (now there's a 32-bit Sony game to look into over Phix, any 32-bit Sony game is worth looking into over Phix) that it was available to watch there. Hallelujah! I've seen before the 2005 remake helmed by the director of the controversial kissing scene between a minor and a woman, but at last the original 1980 film is here to watch for free (until it's no longer available to freely watch). I've been watching it plenty of times since, I think it's become among my top favorite movies directed by Carpenter. The palpable atmosphere of Antonio Bay, Carpenter's hauntingly effective score, the simple yet effective premise, the opening campfire storytelling by the late John Houseman, beautiful cinematography done by the legend that is Dean Cundey (the waters beside the lighthouse as Adrienne Barbeau's Stevie Wayne walks down towards it and the vistas of Antonio Bay, it's incredibly well-shot with eerie fog during the last third), and the cast does a very good job with the performances (admitted lack of character building notwithstanding, but I wasn't too bothered by that here; that said, the only thing I found hard to believe in this movie was that within an hour of Tom Atkins' Nick Castle and Jamie Lee Curtis' Elizabeth meeting each other for the first time they instantly get in bed together, that's just ludicrous). I liked how Barbeau had two different filters to her voice (one being normal and the other being sultry yet seductive--similarly, she'd use different filters to differentiate her Selina Kyle and Catwoman voices in Batman: The Animated Series--as jazz music plays while working in her radio station talking in the microphone until the final stretch of the movie where she operates in serious warning mode) and found her very likable, it was charming seeing Curtis and her late real-life mother Janet Leigh (rest in peace) appear together during the climax (I liked Leigh's character too, I thought she was a delightfully perky screen presence as Kathy Williams), the late Hal Holbrook had a commanding screen presence as Father Malone (rest in peace), the late Charles Cyphers (rest in peace) was endearing as the weatherman Dan O'Bannon in a silly grown up goober kind of way (even though he doesn't take Stevie's warning about the fog seriously until it's too late), it was nice to see the late Darwin Joston (rest in peace) again after Assault on Precinct 13 (with both Joston and Cyphers passed away, think of it this way: now Napoleon Wilson can fulfill his promise to Officer Starker and regale him as to why he goes by the namesake he does), and Atkins was very good here (though I much prefer seeing him with a moustache). I liked the intense lighting and shadows inside the Sea Brass as Nick tells Elizabeth a story about something he recollected during childhood in conjunction with Father Malone reading his grandfather's journal to Leigh's Kathy and Nancy Kyes' Sandy Fadel discovering the horrific truth of the nature of Antonio Bay's founding. The last third makes for a suspenseful thrill ride, and the last frame before cutting to the credits is chilling in an effective less is more way. I really like 1980 The Fog a lot, I can see how some would poke holes at some of its logic (I won't act like its objectively perfect, but subjectively I found it very satisfying as a whole), but I think it's a very good and easily rewatchable John Carpenter film (being an hour and a half long with brisk pacing certainly helps). I love it! Movies like this perfectly showcase why he was among the masters of the CinemaScope format.
● Also not related to this game: but man, this hurricane season suuucked! 😩 Hurricane Beryl in Texas (where I live, we've since recovered) in July, Hurricane Helene in North Carolina in September, and Hurricane Milton in Florida in October. I feel bad for the people who died, are suffering, and/or who lost everything through these natural disasters. 😞 Nothing's more sickening than hearing that FEMA apparently doesn't have any funds to help North Carolina... well, nothing except for the current administration's indignant response to criticisms leveled against them for FEMA's financial conundrum as "misinformation". People are dying, dead, suffering, and/or have lost everything, but to them that's "misinformation" (if they're quick to discard, disregard, and invalidate your pain and/or death, then they are quick to discard, disregard, and invalidate you, and that I think makes it highly indicative of who they are). 😠 Not to mention the recent revelation that FEMA deliberately skipped over certain peoples' houses based on who they voted for (the supervisor has since been fired, good riddance to bad rubbish!). So much for impartiality. If the souls of the people they've wronged in life and in death come back to haunt them (and the braindead biased news media and the contemptible celebrities who enabled this atrocious inhumanity to occur to begin with), I wouldn't feel bad about it and would say that they completely deserve it. What I'm saying is: I do not sympathize with these unfeeling power-hungry saprophytes, and I have neither patience nor respect for these compulsive bridge burning liars. 🖕
AND FOR THE RECORD:
the moral should be "violent rhetoric is unacceptable no matter who does it" and not "when that side is doing it that's bad but when we do it (even though we said we'd tone it down 24 hours ago), that's fine" otherwise that is an ugly game of double standards (the oldest sin known to man and among the things I've learned to loathe most of all this decade) and no smart, rational-minded person wants that. To suggest otherwise would raise a colossal red flag and be massively revealing of the true nature of anyone who'd attempt to do so.
Thank you for reading my review, please leave me a comment and let me know what you think (neither spam nor NSFW is allowed); hope you have a great day, be a kind human, and take care!
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"Huzzah, we finally got rid of him! Now to spend the following year preparing for and starring in our own spinoff game: Zera-Chan Puzzle: Pitatto Pair!"
